How To Influence An Argument Without Getting Involved


Have you ever found yourself embroiled in a conflict because either you were at the wrong place at the wrong time, or your actions – or those of someone else – got you involved as a result of a misunderstanding? The first thing to keep in mind is that winning the argument should be less important than how you effectively articulate your position without berating anyone else.

Nothing makes the psyche more vindictive then humiliation, embarrassment or loss. Its primal. Through vengeance, we humans, wrongly believe that we can be made whole again. This tends to perpetuate bad feelings that can precipitate bizarre reactions that come back to haunt us when we least expect it. The way you handle yourself in an argument can either complicate or refine a cause and effect interaction, also known in the East as Karma.

Being part of an argument is not the same as getting emotionally involved in one as long as you remain objective and resist the impulse to respond when your buttons are pushed to evoke an overreaction. It is also important not to demoralize the other person so as to avoid creating ill will. Your goal should be to encourage insights for the both of you that trivialize the elements that created the argument in the first place and promote compromise. Having a sense of humor, here and there couldn’t hurt.