Viva Le Glove
It was Friday afternoon, preparing for the big prom night dance, driven there by a black chauffeur, chilled orchard in hand for my honey. I was feeling pumped, looking sharp, grabbing my lucky shirt from the closet, the one with the scent of musk, only to discover it’s covered in enough dog hair and funky lint to make it look like another dog and perhaps attract the wrong bitch.
No time to clean the lucky shirt a ritualistic artifact of conquest, a blight for this night until, surfing the net, a page is encountered about “Le Glove.” Ah, triumph invades my thought, for Le Glove is well known to pet owners and dandruff sufferers as “your very own lint removal system. An invention, created by some unnamed Australian company ‘is engineered from polypropylene effectively turning your grooming regime into a dream. Simply slip on Le Glove, peel off the paper surface, dab the offending foreign bodies and put it in the garbage,'” and the claim is also made that Le Glove is biodegradable!
The unnamed company adds, “Le Glove” is disposable, recyclable, affordable. It will remove lint, dandruff, dust, hair, fur and fibres from clothing, upholstery, carpets even bathroom floors. Every hotel worth its room rate should have them! Every exec worth their golden handshake should keep a pack in their briefcase. In fact, you should be able to open every handbag and see a pack of Le Glove ready to use.
Product Specifications clearly state, “Le Glove is made of polypropylene material featuring an adhesive (sticky) surface designed to easily remove lint, hair, dandruff and any other foreign particles from clothing, upholstery and carpets.”
When you purchase your pack of Le Gloves, also consider buying your very own For Real Spider Catcher. The price for each is cheap, so why worry about it?
This amazing product, “allows you to quickly and gently trap the spider from a safe distance (65 cm) – it also means you can reach under furniture and up to ceilings without balancing precariously. You simply press the trigger on the easy grip handle to spread the bristles, place it over the insect, release, and you’ve got him! Even if it’s making a break for it, you can still catch the little sucker and release him back into the wild where he should be.” Or you can regress to your early childhood and recite that old nursery rhyme,
The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout.
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain
And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.