Gadget UFP – Communicate with your children

Imagine being at a family gathering, perhaps at a picnic in your hometown. The mayor heralds the pageantry of food offered in majestic display as children dressed in fifteenth century garb, standing on a wooden platform hastily constructed, recite various soliloquy’s and excerpts in an orchestra of “To Be Or Not To Be” for those of a Shakespearean heart. Other children play the violin and flute in a Brandenburg moment against the backdrop of a blue, cloudless sky. A summer breeze, mid-eighties (Fahrenheit ), 20 degrees centigrade for the rest of the world. No need for the Thunderbolt Pro-Lightning Storm Predictor to create a summer lightning storm for a paramour encounter. This is a family moment.

An event to remember where you came from. Mom, Dad, Sis, Mr. and Mrs Olsen who run the general store Edna Maye-Josey Jones cow farm down yonder, with fresh unpasteurized milk, eggs and domestic cheddar cheese. The bake contest, always won by a Margaret Anderson type (Father Knows Best) maternally played by the late Jane Wyatt, who portrayed Amanda, wife of Sarek and mother of Mr. Spock, episode 39 Journey To Babel. Stardate 3842.3.

Realizing your children have wandered off out of eye contact, a momentary panic fills the air, until realizing that you have come prepared with your set of four Star Trek Classic Communicators, one of the essentials Captain James T. Kirk always had on every away mission. “Whenever Kirk left the Enterprise, there were always three things he made sure he was equipped with. His phaser, a tear-away shirt and his Communicator. The shirt, 100% virgin acrylic spandex, 300 stitch, twenty-third century design you will have to make yourself. The phaser is already available. Now, the Communicator has arrived.”

Hopefully you too can talk to your Enterprising children no matter where they are on Earth. “Just flip up the grill and you’ll be greeted with the lights and sounds you’ve come to know and love as hallmarks that began the Star Trek Saga.”

ThinkGeek is advertising this replica with voice clips from the classic series, “so we have more than just beeps. Delight as you hear Mr. Spock ask you if you want an armed party beamed down and thrill as you attempt calling your children to find out where they have disappeared, instead hearing the Bridge of the Enterprise.” Perhaps a frantic Scotty in a shrill voice, ” I’m an engineer, not a magician. The control circuits are threatening to overload! Warp drive is off line. The engineering section is being flooded with some sort of lethal radiation and the dilithium crystals are operating at 10 percent.”

Be the first on your block equipped and prepared with a replica of the very Communicator that futuristically inspired the invention of the cell phone long before Apple’s still overpriced iPhone, and get ready to communicate with your children, the stars that glitter your constellation.

This treasure is a full size replica with lights and sound effects from the beloved show, with “hailing” functions. Just press a button near the flip open grill and you too can be receiving a call from the Star Ship Enterprise. A constant reminder that we are not alone in the Universe.

However, according to a ThinkGeek review, “It fails to act as a communication device. Simple two-way communication would have really sealed the deal on this one. The Star Trek Classic Communicator costs $30, though you could just wait for currency to be abolished under the formation of the United Federation of Planets in 2161 and replicate one.” An apt review for a gadget that fails the Dick Tracy Two Way Radio Test.

My Percepto Rating is “unpronounceable” in honor of all things Vulcan, including Mr. Spock’s full name.

The Original Star Trek- Remastered on HD-DVD

The Digitally Remastered Star Trek-TOS

The Long Lost Star Trek-TOS Episode