Pandora’s Awakening Alarm


Imagine for a moment, after a long morning of work at your chosen profession, your “to do list” is only half completed. You are fatigued, in need of a break from the daily routine so characteristic of life’s cycle. The previous night was replete with thoughts that prevented you from falling asleep. Tossing and turning, looking up at the ceiling as everything from jumping sheep to the audible drip drip drip of the kitchen faucet kept you awake as every extraneous thought imaginable occupied your mind’s eye.

Exhausted you look out of the window, see the rising sun, hear the sounds of the birds gleefully chirping, heralding the new day. Realizing it’s time to shower, perhaps shave, trying out your brand new Robocut Barberbot – for a close shave – while your stream of thoughts continue along the lines of triviality and fantasy. A menagerie of useless “things” with the intent of foiling you from focusing on the important details being avoided that need attending to.

After a morning of work, it’s that time in the afternoon when a siesta is needed, a nap to re-vivify your energy to endure the afternoon before the time to go home and deal with your domestic reality. Forgetting the “to do list” is always a risk when closing your eyes for a two hour nap. Now, a gadget has been designed to assist you not only in remembering that list but making you feel guilty for taking a snooze.

The Pandora Alarm Clock For Chronic Snoozers described by OH GIZMO! reviewer Andrew Liszewski: “Reflecting mankind’s love/hate relationship with the device that wakes us from our blissful slumbers each morning. Melanie Graf, a Product Design student at Central Saint Martins College of Art & Design in London has added yet another creative twist with her Pandora alarm clock. Once you hit the snooze button, an animation will be laser projected onto the ceiling above your bed. After drifting off to sleep, you’ll be awakened once again with a bunch of different sounds. When you open your eyes and look up at the ceiling, you’ll see a series of animations which reflect what you should actually be doing as part of your afternoon routine, instead of napping. And if you keep hitting the snooze button, the animations will eventually reflect the catastrophic consequences if you don’t get out of bed. The device is designed to ‘guilt’ you out of bed.”

Perhaps reminiscent of a mother’s tender nudge to get you ready for school and the first morning class, English 2.5 – The Shakespearean Tragedy – 4 credits, two hours long, requiring verbal reading from Hamlet, Macbeth and King Lear at 7 am.

A course in Mythology, a lecture on the legend of Pandora’s Box would be more appropriate. According to Wikipedia, “Pandora opened a jar (pithos) in modern accounts referred to as ‘Pandora’s box’, releasing all the evils of mankind- greed, vanity, slander, envy, pining- leaving only hope inside once she had closed it again.

Now you too can be reminded of the nuances of your life, etched on the ceiling in glaring laser red. Your personal, “RED ALERT“. No specifications or price is indicated, suggesting it’s still in the development stage. However the concept is intriguing.

My Percepto rating is a very sheepish – 2 “BAAAA-DDDD”

5 – A DSM diagnosis of “little bo peep syndrome”
4 – Worf oversleeping and late for his shift as security officer
3 – Someone searching for “the secret of Itnashiv”
1 – Fans of the Nightmare on Elmstreet series
0 – Naught, A Not Nothing Something