The Original LG Chocolate – Original or just Coco?

Before I convey my impressions of this device, what does its name and look suggest? We initially see an object, like fashion as the outer package, even if at first glance its other meanings appear hidden, conveying messages, motives and can in some cases speak to the subconscious while suggesting, like a dream, perfectly logical contradictions.

This is more than just a phone, its the original LG Chocolate and it tells its own story.

What this image transmits is that this gadget could be the long lost prop in the rumored third season missing episode of the original Classic Star Trek series, when the Starship Enterprise NCC -1701 goes back in time in a tense and uncertain sling shot effect around the sun and encounters Elvis Presley just prior to a 1969 concert in Nashville when Scotty accidentally beams him aboard. Its title was “Let’s Rock Around The Clock with Mr. Spock” mysteriously lost in the archives of Desilu Studio when Desi Arnaz sold his share to Lucille Ball. Its existence has only recently been suggested.

This phone perhaps was the specially designed lost “communication device” which was created in the present by Verizon, personally minted for Elvis when brought from the present, into the past, then back to the future, and used by Elvis to communicate with the Enterprise when he was transported to Earth to complete a mission with Kirk commanding the away team. Notice the guitar on the interface.

While trying to find a way to return Elvis to Nashville, the Enterprise encountered a spacial anomaly unanticipated by Mr. Spock. While Captain Kirk, unable to find the exact spot in time, the Enterprise “quite accidentally” emerges from warp drive on the very day Lisa Marie marries Michael Jackson. Since Elvis came from the past, he was advised about altering the time line, equipped with a belt that made him invisible (even to himself), by encapsulating him in an antimatter force field. When he is beamed up after failing to prevent Lisa Marie from marrying Jackson, he was quoted as saying, with that soft spoken voice and gyrating pelvis, “Well Jail House Rock, It’s Still Mr. Spock.”

Of course Elvis is returned to his rightful time, but not before he is made Honorary Ensign, then Dr. McCoy uses a device “removing all synaptic memory activity in the right (as in correct as opposed to left, or yeah right!) part his the brain.” When asked if he succeeded, McCoy responds “He isn’t dead, Jim.” Lisa Marie marries Michael Jackson, they divorce, and the time line kept intact.

Specifics of this communication device, quoted from a Cnet source, Ms. Nicole Lee – herself perhaps an ancestor of one of the crew of the Enterprise or a descendant – on the VX85500, “it has a sharp design; satisfying overall performance; and a multimedia-rich feature set that includes Bluetooth, a digital music player, and a megapixel camera with admirable photo quality.” However she adds “the LG Chocolate’s unique touch pad and controls entail a steep learning curve, and the phone suffers from poor streaming video quality and low talk-time battery life. The lack of a speakerphone is disappointing.”

Her conclusion was “though the LG Chocolate is beautifully designed and offers a respectable mix of features and performance, it doesn’t quite live up to the hype.” It sounds like she thinks its “satisfactory, despite being inadequate.” What a dilemma, even for a non Vulcan! Never the less, it doesn’t seem to be worth the $99.99 list price at, or the overpriced $189.99 from refurb depot?

It was supposed to be Big and Hot when it hits the net and stores around the world, however it turned out to be similar to what the Edsil was to the car industry. Wait a minute, doesn’t that “touch pad control” sound like the still-overpriced iPhone? Perhaps the Original LG Chocolate design was brought from the future into the past then used for designing “the next generation”, beep beep beep, touch panel. Perhaps Isaac Hayes, who wrote the title track for “Shaft” the movie, knows the answer.

In Mr. Spock’s personal log, he says “Jim, this isn’t logical. Although we come from the future, we really are part of the past, and Lisa Marie Presley wasn’t even conceived when we were on our voyages. How then could we encounter someone we aren’t sure would have existed in the first place?”

Kirk, responding with a quote from Captain Janeway from the episode Future’s End, “I hate these time paradoxes, they always give me a headache, the future is the past, and the past is the future.”

One can only wonder if the prototype of the “LG Chocolate” is somewhere in the vault of Graceland. Perhaps Seven of Nine’s Borg technology would be helpful in retrieving it.

The following is the rating scale I used:
5 – Only for those who love the Star Trek Universe
4 – Only for those who love The Next Generation
3 – Only for those who love Deep Space Nine
2 – Satisfactory is high praise from a Vulcan. Peace and long life. Live long and prosper.
1 – Only those prepared to be assimilated into the Apple/Verizon spacial anomaly.
0 – Only for those who are unprepared to join “The Q Continuum.”

My final score is: 1