The Fault Is In The Stars, Not Ourselves

Some days, everything goes wrong. I put my keys down, and two minutes later, I forget where I put them. I hop into the shower and the water gets too hot or too cold. I try to go to sleep and I hear outside my window: “Move your F—–n Car out of the way, you xxx of a B…h!” It seems almost as life itself has plotted against me. The stars have specifically decided to curse everything I try to do right. I feel incompetent, I imagine that the gods are sitting in Mt. Olympus, watching everything I try to do, and design life’s responses to spite me.

Some times I feel like going to the top of the Empire State Building and throwing myself off the top floor so my guts splatter all over 34th street, causing someone to clean it up and go “eech… how disgusting.”

The computer keyboard sticks, the hard drive crashes. The mailbox key sticks. Something falls out of my shopping bag. Nothing seems to go right. My blood pressure elevates, I feel my patience fizzles into a height of constant anger. I curse the pedestrian in front of me for walking too slow and blocking my path, even thought they don’t know i’m walking behind them.

My only thought is CRUSH, KILL, DESTROY. I don’t want to be reasonable. I hate everthing, everyone, ice cream, coffee, food, apple pie… why oh why can’t anything go right, I say to myself… and in a moment of passion, a voice inside of me says “Now now, calm down”, as if my good old wise self, the parent in me, pats me on the head and says, “Now aren’t you over reacting?” And then I hear another inner voice saying: ” awwww shut up.”