On Growth, Change and the Art of Adaptation
One of the most challenging struggles I have faced in life is dealing with the prospect of change. Although I have a sense of who I am, an identity that is undeniably mine, the future does not feel as comfortable as I would like. Where exactly am I going? What will I be faced with and who will I become as a result of it? (part of the uncertainty mentioned in previous posts). There is only so much I can be prepared for. Events happen and although I may have some control over them, I have wondered whether it is control I really want, and whether that control is a reality or an illusion I have created to give me a sense of power over my own destiny.
Control is a tricky prospect, partly because I’m never really sure how much control is appropriate at any given time, or whether I’m really clear on exactly what l need to control in the first place. My instincts tell me to leave the future as open ended as possible because what I may feel may be necessary now, may not be what I really want or need then, and it may also not be in my best interest. The conclusion I have reached is that the best I can do is have confidence in my own ability to handle whatever issues I am presented with, or whatever forces are brought to bear on my life as it progresses to its inevitable conclusion.
The only thing I am sure of is that I need to adapt to the circumstances I am faced with as my life progresses and I want to be careful that my thinking remains flexible and permeable to change when new circumstances arise to force me to reconsider the things I have already decided on.
I’m also aware of the importance of remaining curious, and always searching for new things to be curious about, because therein lies the part of me that I brought from my childhood, where the strength of my insights will be determined, and the ability to absorb new information will be found.
My sensibilities have changed over time. I am no longer self conscious of my blind spots. The reasons that perpetuated them no longer exists. I feel freer to articulate some of the thoughts and ideas that I felt were not just relevant to me, but also to other people. I now am able to use myself as an example where in previous stages of my life, it would not have been possible.
I hope that by exploring some of my own questions and elucidating them the way I have will perhaps lead others to explore their own issues and their own realities that are so difficult to articulate let alone deal with.